R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
