yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
