Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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