i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
