And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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