I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
