please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
