Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
