Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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