Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
In other news, I just burned my penis
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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