If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
someone owes me an orgasm
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
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