Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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