He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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