I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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