dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
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