fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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