Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
