dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
