just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize