so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
