in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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