At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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