your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
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The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
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I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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