On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
