i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
