Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
