Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
it hurts more in the daytime
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
