Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(312): View more from Illinois

We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.

(248): View more from Michigan

Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?

(312): View more from Illinois

But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.

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(269): View more from Michigan

We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God

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(507): View more from Minnesota

Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list

(202): View more from Washington, DC

He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!

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