you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
