"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
