Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
