You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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