first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?