fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i love accidental penises.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.