he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
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