Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
so much tequila, so little girl.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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