Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
