I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
