ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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