We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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