I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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