I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
