i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
