Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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