you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
We smell like vodka and hangover
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