I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize