So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
