mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
