he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
