So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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