Pappa wants mamma naked
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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