I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
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i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
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I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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