accomplished twins. life is a go
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
