what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
