She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
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on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
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i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
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