Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
