____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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