the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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