Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
