I puked a lego.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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