i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Randomize
