R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
