I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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