Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
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