C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
